Rejection 25: Dance With a Dancing Santa

Very similar to Rejection 16: Ring a Bell For The Salvation Army, today's episode was about me spotting a person on the street whom I usually don't give a second thought to. That person was a dancing sign holder. I wanted to hold the sign for him and learn some dance moves from him.

Learning: 1. Someone finally taught me how to dougie 2. Life is so much more fun and colorful if we simply slow down and don't walk by everything.

Rejection 24: Exchange Training With a Personal Trainer

A personal trainer's job is give me physical training for my money. However, I believe an hour of my time could also be valuable, if used correctly. Especially in the area of technology, entrepreneurship and blogging, I feel I have a lot expertise to offer. On day 24 of my rejection therapy, I ventured into 24 Hour Fitness to exchange 1 hour training session with a fitness trainer.

Instead of getting physical training, I receive a rejection training. Jordan is the type of person who really knows how to say 'no' to people. These are the types of things you don't realize when it happens, but only catch them during post analysis.

Learning: A good 'no' should include 1: a reason/consequence 2. a path/alternative to a 'yes' 3. patience and respect. In the case of rejection, it's really not what you say, but how you say it.

Day 23: Be a Greeter at Starbucks

Assuming salary doesn't matter, do you think being a greeter at a store like Walmart is an easy job? All you do is to say hi to people, smile and get paid, right? Well, I'm trying to find out myself. To not competing with Walmart employees, I decided to do it at Starbucks.

Being a greeter is not easy, especially if you count the boredom and weird looks this job receives.

Learning: 1. When people have no intention in carrying a conversation with you, they usually won't. Don't take it personally when they walk by. 2. Job satisfaction has a lot less to do with physical effort and ease, but more to do with human interaction and fulfillment. Even for a job like greeter, who has to communicate constantly, the quality of the communication is what matters, not quantity.

Day 22: Getting "Thai Torture" at Amy's Ice Creams

When you were little, have you ever thought about funny things such as digging a hole through earth or inventing your own ice creams flavor? I tried the former at age 11, and the latter today. While the hole went two feet deep before my neighbor called my mom, I wanted to carry through the ice cream invention. On day 22 of my rejection therapy, I went into Austin's favorite Amy's Ice Creams asking for "Thai Torture", a flavor I made up and might patent someday.

Learning: I have learned by now that the first 'no' should almost never be the end negotiation/discussion. Many times, the other party need your help to collaborate on an alternative solution. Always keep your head cool, always keep your options open, always probe for more. You never know what you might discover in the end.

Day 21: Ask Strangers for Compliments

Dan Ariely, the bestselling author of Predictably Irrational and The Upside of Irrationality, and my professor at graduate school, proposed an interesting experiment for my day 14 Rejection Therapy: give $5 to five random people Now his crazy mind is back at it again. On Day 21, he proposed that I ask for compliments from strangers and see if I get rejected. The theory is that people are reluctant to ask/give compliments to others. However, when it happens, everyone is happy afterward. Is he correct on both of those two hypotheses?

The first one was one of the hardest rejection attempts I have ever done. It was more awkward than asking my homecoming date 12 years ago. However, as I kept at it, I started enjoying it much more, and in the end, I loved it. The compliments to me, though solicited, were from strangers. They indeed made me feel very happy and confident.

Learning: 1. People are more than willing to say nice things about others when given the opportunity. As my rejection therapy suggests, it could be harder to reject giving compliments than to agree to it. 2. Compliments, in a way, is like sex for married couples. In Paula Szuchman's book It's Not You, It's the Dishes, everyone thinks that the more sex the merrier for married couples, and they are completely free to do it. However they somehow set up emotional barriers so they don't get to enjoy it as much as we want. I feel the same way about compliments. We should all try this - asking/giving compliments to strangers or loved ones. I promise you will feel happier afterward.

Day 20: Jeff Probst Show

Jackie Braun (Krispy Kreme magician who wowed the world), Jason Comely (the inventor of the Rejection Therapy Game) and I appeared on the Jeff Probst show (Jeff is the host of the Survivor). I made my crazy request to Jeff during the show, which will air in Mid-December.

Day 19: Make Announcement on a Southwest Flight

Rejection therapy is on the go. Flying out of Austin this morning, I asked Southwest employee Jeff if I could make the safety announcement before the flight takes off. When I tried similar things at Costco, I got a free meal. Now I'm trying this on a flight, the results floored me.

I hadn't been this nervous for years. Not only I was making a public speech that probably very few other customers have ever attempted before, I did it on a plane where things could be perceived in a very wrong way. Listening to myself, I felt I spoke way too fast. It was a classic sign of nervousness and insecurity, as pointed out by Olivia Cabane's fabulous book The Charisma Myth.

Learning: 1. Again, you just never know what might happen if you don't ask. 2. When nervous, take a deep breath and slow down. You can gain so much confidence when you just slow down and pronounce every word clearly.

Day 18: Give Weather Forecast on Live TV

I was in Austin's Fox News studio doing an interview about my 100 rejections journey this morning. Before I came on, I saw the weather forecast and thought I could do a good job. So I asked to do it at the end of my interview.

With lights and camera in my face, the pressure was on. It would be tough to pursue my request after the first no, like I did in other situations. However, this was two days in a row when I didn't ask 'why' after the initial rejection, which I'm not proud of. Also, I should have offered alternatives, such as asking her to talk to the producer, and maybe invite me back after my 100 days for the weather forecast.

Learning: same as yesterday, if the person say 'no', kindly ask why, and then offer a lesser alternative if the initial request isn't granted. This is Robert Cialdini's theory of concession in his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.

By the way, I want to thank Fox for the story. Other than getting my name wrong (I'm Jia Jiang, not Jia Jang), it was a story very well put together.

Day 17: Borrow a Dog From the Humane Society

As a dog lover who isn't in a position to adopt a second dog, I ventured into the Austin Humane Society to borrow one for a day.

This was one that I felt got away from me. Just like the car salesman, the lady kept saying 'no' without giving me a reason other than "we don't do it here". I should have asked why and hear her side of the story. If there was a reason, maybe I could have worked on the reason instead of the issue itself.

Learning: remember to ask 'why' after a 'no'. Even if the rejection is for sure, it's good to learn the reason behind the rejection.

Day 16: Ring a Bell for the Salvation Army

As I carry out my rejection therapy, I found that I am observing the world in a very different way. I walked by Salvation Army bell-ringers all the time but never bothered to stop or think about it. This time, right after finishing the mannequin attempt, I ran into this bell-ringer outside of the mall and decided to help him out.

Learning: There are amazing experiences everywhere when you simply pay attention and not to be in so much hurry. I can't believe how happy Denny was when we had the conversation.

Day 15: Be a Live Mannequin at Abercrombie

I have received quite a few requests for me to try this idea out, so there I went. I offered to be a live mannequin at two different stores.

While I prepared to be rejected, I didn't prepare the reason for rejection. But it only makes sense. A model needs to have the model look, just like a software engineer better knows how to code.

Learning: When rejecting someone, the attitude and reason can make a big difference. The third girl was so nice and personable, and how can anyone be mad at her?

Day 14: Give $5 to Five Random People

I have been asking people to do things for me for my rejection therapy. Now I want to turn the table and give something to others. Following my graduate school professor Dan Ariely's suggestion, I went on the street and offered $5 to five random people. Will they take the easy money or just walk away?

Learning: when you ask people for something, even to offer them money, they might not take it if you don't offer them a good reason. Next time when you make a request, make sure you use the word 'because', no matter how generous your offers are.

By the way, here are Dan's bestselling books:

Day 13: Take an Unregistered Exam

When I saw how hard my wife prepared for her Project Management exam, I got seriously jealous. After driving her for 4 hours to Dallas to take the exam, I decided to do it too myself, cold.

Respectful, though incredulous, she was a very nice lady.

Learning: 1. OK, this is it. Not only I couldn't hide the camera successfully, she was constantly peeking at it. I am buying some new equipment. Thank you for your suggestions.

2. Looking back, I could have offered some alternatives, such as taking some other exams there that didn't have this much restriction. Or get a printed version and try it out.

Day 12: The Reunion. Jackie Delivers Again

Confucius say, great doughnuts come in twos... no he didn't say that. But it would be such a waste if I only get to meet an amazing person like Jackie once in my life. On Day 12, I ventured to Krispy Kreme to see Jackie again. This time, I wasn't looking for rejection, but to express my gratitude.

Learning: when something incredible is accomplished, many people would fight for credit. Jackie, on the other hand, gives credit to others when she didn't have to. Would this work in the corporate world? I surely hope so. The world would be such a better place if everyone is like Jackie.

Day 11: Learn Sales From the #2 Car Salesman in the Country

It's hard to meet #2 in the country in anything, whether it's Joe Biden or The Patriots. However, I met the self-claimed #2 ranked salesman in the country on my 11th day of Rejection Therapy. An entrepreneur needs to know how to sell. If I can't learn sales from the best, I certainly want to learn from the second best.

This is one is a little tricky because I don't know how his words will be perceived. If it's negative, I don't want to affect him personally, so I blocked out his face.

Learning: I feel the reason for his rejection is completely valid, although it was told a little bit harshly. If I face the same situation, when I'm too busy for someone's request, I might try to offer an alternative like Jeremy did at Fedex. I might try to say "sorry I can't do that because of _____. However, I know a couple of sales books that are really good..."

Day 10: Listen to Happy Birthday Song When It's Not My Birthday

When celebrating birthday, having a bunch of people singing Happy Birthday to you is still the coolest part. Now, who says you can only get that treatment on your birthday? I am trying to test this theory at Cheesecake Factory by asking them to sing the song to me when it's not my birthday.

• Learning: 1. I need to hide my camera better; 2. The request, though off-the-wall, is not that tough. Looking back, I'm not sure if it's tougher to say 'yes' or say 'no', when all they need to do is to do what they do everyday, just under different circumstances. I will ask them to do something they don't normally do next time.

Day 9: Send Stuff to Santa Claus Through Fedex

I'm sure a lot of kids send letters to Santa Claus asking for gifts. Have you ever shipped stuff to Santa, so someone who might need can get it? I am going to give it a try at Fedex. If anyone can do it, it's Fedex!

I enjoyed the conversation, and Jeremy also had fun... Frankly, I think the idea cracked him up. I really liked Jeremy. Fedex has very high quality employees who know how not to take things too seriously.

Learning: if I can get someone laughing, then the negotiation likely won't turn heated, regardless of the final outcome. I also have huge respect for people who can offer alternative solutions, instead of just saying 'no'.

Day 8: Get Number One Spot in Best Buy's Thanksgiving Line

It’s Thanksgiving! Yes, you get in line for five hours hoping to grab the 80% discount on a laptop. However, I bet you have never been number one in line before, have you? Do you know how it feels to be number one? Do you know what it takes? No, I don’t have what it takes, but I tried to acquire the spot instead. This is the beauty of rejection therapy. If I get a ‘yes’, then I get an 80” TV for $100. If I get a ‘no’, then it’s the musical sound of success.

I was confident that I could at least carry a conversation with the #1 guy, but when the #2 guy jumped in pointing at the rules on the wall, the battle was lost. You don’t want to negotiate with two or more people who sacrificed their entire Thanksgiving to be at the front of the line when Best Buy opens its door.

Learning: One versus many negotiating is much harder to carry out than one versus one. When making a crazy request one is better off being in a private one on one setting.

Day 7: Speak Over Costco's Intercom

“So-and-so shoppers, the store will be closing in 5 minutes, please bring your…” You hear these words a lot while shopping. Have you ever had the urge to speak over the intercom yourself? I had the urge. Today, wearing my hidden camera, I tried to convince a manager to allow me to speak over their intercom to fellow shoppers at my favorite store, Costco.

I knew the chance of me getting a ‘yes’ was astronomically low, since no manager wants to lose his/her job over this crazy request. However, I tried hard to negotiate and even showed my membership card so he knew I was sincere. In the end, Costco is good at making its customers happy. When they say ‘no’ but then feed you, they know your mouth would be too busy chewing instead of saying bad things about them.

Learning: 'No' could be tough to swallow, but pizza and hotdog aren't. A sure way to gain loyal fans is to make a concession while giving a rejection.

Day 6: Play Soccer in Someone's Backyard

I can’t remember the number of times I booted a soccer ball into someone’s backyard and had to either run away or knock on a stranger’s door to retrieve the ball, all the while fearing death. To get rid of that nightmare and overcome my fear once and for all I wore my hidden camera and knocked on some random guy’s house asking to play soccer in his backyard. The result was a huge surprise.

Learning: I found that when making a crazy request like this, confidence is important, and the other person can sense it immediately. If I give the aura that I know what I am doing, the chance of being accepted is much higher. And he might just say 'yes' because it's "so off the wall and how can I say 'no' to that?"