Why the Fear?

Making a tough request is easy, right? Just ask, and let some words fly out of your mouth.

If that’s the case, why is the fear of rejection one of the top fears people have? Why is it so hard to ask for a promotion, close a sale, knock on a stranger’s door, and put yourself out there? Why is your heart pounding so hard, and it feels like life and death?

The answer is not in psychology but in biology and anthropology. In ancient times, our ancestors survived and thrived not because they were the strongest and fastest but because they were blessed with brains and collaboration. They were at the top of the food chain because their teamwork in hunting was unmatched. However, if someone acted up, they would be rejected, ostracized, and on their own. When you were alone, the hunter would become the hunted in no time.

That yearning for acceptance and fear of rejection has been programmed in our DNA ever since because it has kept us safe. So when you are going into a job interview or sales pitch, although you know it’s not life-and-death, it feels like it. Because our DNA was screaming “danger, danger!”

However, we are not hunting elephants with bows and arrows anymore. We are not fighting armies with spears and swords anymore. Our current work environment requires not only collaboration but also innovation, negotiation, and going against mainstream beliefs. To live a life free from the prison of opinion, you have to do things and ask for things that are not necessarily popular and immediately accepted.

If your work is important and you want to live a meaningful life, you will be rejected over and over. Look at the most impactful and successful figures in the world throughout its history. You see Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, and even Steve Jobs…... These people were initially rejected (some violently) by the mainstream power holders and even the majority of the population. They didn’t let others’ rejection define them. They let their own cause and action define themselves. If they followed their DNA’s warning and played it safe, there would be no Civil Rights movement, no peaceful independence, no ending of slavery… and no iPhones.

Now, your life cause might not be history-altering as theirs. Yet, you want to live a meaningful life. You want to impact your own family and community. You want to have a great career, and you want to find love. To quote Steve Jobs, you want to “dent the universe,” no matter how small that universe is.

However, if you don’t actively cultivate the Power of Rejection, and overcome your DNA programming, you will not be able to ask for things when it matters. You will live a life of mediocrity and a path of least resistance. The universe will dent you instead, over and over. When you become old, you are going to have regrets of what-ifs.

“What if I asked for that investment?

What if I asked for my dream job and applied for my dream school?

What if I asked to join the cause I really cared about?

What if I asked to be the leader?

What if I asked her out?

…

What if I asked it again after getting rejected?

What if I asked it one more time?”

Regret, in the long term, is the consequence of succumbing to fear. It is much, much worse than rejection itself.

How Do You Develop the Courage?

So now you understand where the fear is coming from. Can you just overcome it?

Only if it were that simple.

Every year, people spend $31B around the globe on personal development products. They buy millions of copies of books. They watch millions of TED talks. Do they really change?

The real answer everyone is afraid of saying out loud: “They don’t.” In fact, people almost never change. Why? Change is hard. Very hard! Because you can’t just change by getting inspiration and information.

You need to take action. Just like you can’t learn to ride a bike by reading a manual or watching a video. You will have to ride the bike, fall, get up and ride again.

Your courage is a mental muscle. You won’t be able to lift the couch simply by commanding your untrained muscle. When the stakes are high, and you haven’t trained your courage muscle, you won’t be able to ask. You will need to exercise your muscle when the stakes are much smaller, and the environment is safer. And you do it incrementally.

I will help you do it step-by-step.

Final Arrival of the Well-Deserved Promotion

 What if They Say NO?

Say you’ve gained and exercised the courage to ask, and you did. But you got a NO......

Is the NO still painful?

You bet it is. In fact, according to a study, our brain cannot differentiate physical pain from social pain. So every time we hear the word NO, our body is reacting in a way that we have just been physically hurt.

It’s our DNA doing the work to make us afraid of rejection again. What do you do when you hear the word NO? How do you react?

Well, let me tell you what most people do with the training – fight and flight! We either fight the rejection by becoming emotional and starting to argue with the rejector, chiding her on the mistake she just made. But when your emotions get involved, both of your opinions would get more entrenched. You are actually less likely to convince someone with your argument.

Flight is even worse. Because of the pain of rejection. We want to leave the scene and heal our wound. But when you are running away, not only do you lose the chance to change the rejector’s mind, you will also lose confidence. You turned a defeat into a rout.

So what a trained person would do in the face of rejection? There is a third way - engage and turn a No into a Yes.

Getting Into a Dream School

Of all the memorable cases I have had helping people turn NO into YES, this one takes the cake. Because it was truly life-changing for someone, I was very close to. It was a demonstration of the Power of Rejection. It’s not just about courage but how you handle rejection in the face of overwhelming odds.

How to Get More Yes?

Now, what happens after you gain the courage through practices? You can ask anything from anyone anywhere. You also don’t run away from or fight rejections. Now you have the Power of Rejection, right?

Not quite. It is half of the battle, but not the whole battle. You need to learn how to ask. It makes a huge difference.

You might have heard me say that rejection is a number’s game. If you go through enough NOs, it usually becomes a YES. (So don’t run away!) However, can you reduce the number of NOs before you get to YES? Can you find the right way to ask to increase your success rate by, say 10%?

You see, Stephen Curry is universally seen as the best shooter in the history of the NBA. He shoots 3-pointers at 43% accuracy and terrifies the opponents every time he lets it fly in a game. However, if you reduced his accuracy from 43% to 33%, he would become a below-average shooter. Although it is a number game, the number matters in the long run. It can elevate you from a mediocre career to a successful one.

Getting More Yeses from Leads

We all get rejected every day, ranging from life-changing to trivial. It’s not about the rejection that matters, it is how we see and handle the rejection that truly matters. It is how winners are made, and champions are built. That’s why I am so passionate about this subject.

That’s why I am here to present to you:

The Power of Rejection

The what and how of handling rejection to live a fear-free life

Everybody is afraid of rejection. Leaders are afraid of being rejected by team members. Professionals are afraid of being rejected with promo/raise/a better job. Parents are afraid of being rejected by their children. Creators are afraid of their work being rejected. Entrepreneurs are afraid of being rejected by users and investors……

Rejection is the self-protection mechanism we develop after layers of social burdens are imposed on us, so much so that we accept the status quo and believe we are not good enough. It’s like you touch the fire once, and you are not going to touch it again. Unlike fire, the avoidance of rejection costs us opportunities in life. Unlike fire, fear of rejection can be overruled and leveraged to better ourselves.

Maybe you are like the younger me; you’ve been searching for solutions to overcome your fear of rejection. You are tired of hiding in your box and not achieving what you set out to do. You’ve read books, attended seminars, listened to talks, bought self-help courses, or even got your own coach. Yet, you are still searching for something that works.

The Power of Rejection is THE solution. I can’t emphasize that enough. It’s not about me convincing you to buy. It’s because I deeply care about you. It hurts me to see our dreams vanish and relationships break because of the fear. I want to help you to change using the course. I’m confident you are going to experience the difference. In fact, I’m going to let you try it out for the next 60 days risk-free. (More on that later.) Let me first walk you through the course.

• The Power of Rejection breaks down rejection in the entire end-to-end spectrum. It offers you tools, perspectives, and scripts to work with in every situation, at work, during the hiring process, in a relationship, or all above and more.

• The Power of Rejection has no BS, which I hate. The materials covered are based on my research, analysis, and experimentation. They go deep into behavioral psychology and emotional management.

• The Power of Rejection gives you hands-on practices that you can try immediately and apply the principles in life. It’s not just another piece of knowledge. It will let you take ACTION!

I am realistic that the course is not for everyone. So I’m okay with taking that rejection.

Especially Please Reject Me if You are……

• Looking for chicken soup for the soul to feel better

• Not going to take action following the course guideline 

• Not going to get rejected daily intentionally 

• Looking for the exact recipe to achieve your goal  

However, if You Feel the Same Way Below, I Welcome You,  

• You are committed to trying, even if it’s way out of your comfort zone, to overcome the fear of rejection

• You are willing to allow yourself to fail and feel bad and to get up and do it again

• You understand this is a marathon, not a sprint. Every action you take leads you closer to your goal.

• You are tired of hearing so-called advice and want to take action and find something that works.

• You like Jia. :)

What You Will Learn in 30 Days

I’ve chopped rejection up into pieces and studied it by nanometres under a microscope. I’ve turned it inside and out. I’ve gone through the trials and errors, so you don’t have to. What I share with you is what works.  

You will learn: 

• The true identity of Rejection - Myth busters for you to apply new perspectives and mindsets toward rejection

• How to engage with Rejection - Research-backed ways to make rejection fun and interesting

• How to make your request so you feel less awkward and minimize the chance of rejection

• How to handle your doubts when they inevitably arise

• How to acquire the mindsets and methods of giving rejection

• My “Rejection Runway” method so you know exactly when to keep going vs. stop trying.

• How to find meaning and value in rejection

• “The Five Second Rule” to turn rejection into an advantage

• How your mindset can change the outcome of rejection and what to do

• Specific exercises and scripts to turn a “No” into a “Yes”

The Power of Rejection Includes:

• 27 digestible videos on rejections - psychology, framework, real-world examples, and exact words to use in receiving, giving, minimizing, and handling rejections.

• 30+ hands-on challenges to get rejected - Have trouble coming up with easy requests to get rejected? I will tell you the actions you can take to get rejected. No hard feelings, just fun to build up our mental muscles.

• MAGIC sheet - Jia uses this tracker to track all actions he takes to achieve any goal he wants in life. He will show you how you can use it to track your rejection challenges.

• Accountability group - Let’s be honest. Taking rejection heads-on is difficult. The journey could feel lonely and brutal if you do it alone. It feels 10x better when you see others doing the same, and you are all growing.

• Group call with Jia - My speaking engagement has a 5 figure price tag, but in this course, you can get time with me live for 30 mins. You can clarify any questions or ask me to analyze your situation on the fly. Again, my motivation is to help you!

People are Changing their Lives using the Power of Rejection

Being rejected in this instance was nothing to do with us or our ability as an agency, or indeed my ability as a business owner. It was all about the other business and their decision to use another agency. It just wasn’t meant to be. And in fact it was a positive thing that they chose the other agency who was a better fit. Who knows, they could have turned out to be a difficult client due to the difficult fit between our business and theirs. Because of Jia, I’m learning to embrace rejection more now, and dare I say, actually enjoy being rejected now. We’ve learned as a business it’s so important to work with the right people, and not work with the wrong people.”

Chis from England

Once I shifted my mindset, I started putting in more work on improving my speech/pronunciation, writing better resumes, and accepting change. Slowly but surely, things got better, I found a job and got accepted into a university.

Andrada S., Student (Miami, USA)

Instead of fearing the dreaded no and feeling defeated in answering my call to serve others, I changed my internal script to what if they said yes and I could honor my desire to make an impact? Not only did I get a meeting, but I also received much more. I accepted an assignment to write a class proposal, create a course description, and fill out and sign a paid contract to teach!

Linda T., Executive Coach 

My Guarantee: Try the Power of Rejection for a Full 30 Days, 100% Risk-Free

You will get on an exciting journey with rejection in the next 30 days. I will be with you every step along the way. I want you to fully embrace rejection and fall in love with it. Complete the entire course. If, in the end, you don’t find it helpful, I will give you your money back. All you need to do is email me to say, “Jia, those methodologies don’t work.” and show me that you’ve done the challenges. By the way, this is only applicable for the course, coaching sessions are not refundable.

Frequently Asked Questions 

• “How does the course work exactly? Do I need to be in person with other students?”

  • The Power of Rejection is an online video course. You can watch it at your own pace. You can choose to finish all videos at once, but I recommend you do it once a day. Most importantly, do the daily challenge. That’s how you internalize the learning and apply it to real life. These challenges do require you to interact with real people.

• “How does the accountability group work?”

  • With your permission, you will be added to a leaderboard where you can see how others are doing the rejection challenges on a daily basis.

• “Is the group call with Jia live?”

  • Yes, you will not get a recorded Jia or impersonated Jia. I’m willing to put in time for you to help you overcome the fear of rejection. Those calls will be scheduled monthly for 30 mins. Questions can be pre-submitted or asked live.

• “How is this course different from everything else on the market?”

  • I was once in your shoes! I was skeptical that the webinars, courses, or talks would work, and all they want is just my money. I still paid tens of thousands as I really needed to overcome my fears; truth be told, they didn’t work. And then finally something worked! My own methods! That’s what I will share with you.

• “How soon can I see the difference?”

  • This is a critical question, and I like it a lot. It’s not asking how soon I can achieve my goal - get a raise, a new job, an investment, or a committed relationship. All these are end results that are out of our control. What we can control is our effort. As long as you watch the videos daily and complete the challenges, I guarantee you will notice the difference in your mindset and attitudes towards rejection in no time. People typically say within a week.

• “Can I access the course after 30 days?”

  • Yes, you can view the course for a lifetime. Actually, I recommend you do that because just like the body muscles fade away if we don’t exercise, our rejection muscles will become weak if we don’t keep practicing.

Why Now?

You might be wondering: This sounds great. I will do it one of these days. This is a very reasonable reaction. But allow me to scream in your ears, “Seriously?! After all the regrets, tears, beating yourself up, nail-biting and dreams shattered, you want to push it off till another day?”

You can slice and dice people into different categories. To me, there are two types of people in the world - those who take action and those who don’t.

Those who take action turn knowledge into changes. They not only take proactive measures to learn but put them into practice. They take control of their life. They don’t let rejections define them. Even if they fail, they say, “At least I tried, and I will try again.”

Those who don’t take action live in their own world. They pretend everything is going okay, but deep down, they are becoming the version they resent. They keep wondering, “What if I have done that? My life would’ve been very different.” Well, don’t let those “what if” regrets and rejections define you!

The choice is yours! I’m putting myself out there to invite you to join me in this course. The opportunity is now. You can change the way you live now. You don’t need to live with the fear of rejection now.

Just do it.