How to Ask for Feedback After Job Rejection
Getting rejected by your dream job sucks. Even worse, you don’t know what went wrong and why you didn’t get the job. All that is offered is a plain thank you and good luck letter. In this post, I will show you why you should ask for feedback after rejection; how to ask for feedback; how to build relationships with the hiring team; and maybe even get the job in the end.
Before I dive into the details, there is one caveat: only ask for feedback for the right jobs. Just like any relationship, a job interview is always a two-way street. The company is evaluating you. You are also evaluating the company and the hiring team. If you sense the job is not a good fit; you don’t like the hiring manager; or there’s no chemistry with the hiring team; don’t bother to ask for feedback. You don’t want to get the wrong feedback from the wrong jobs.
Assuming it’s for the right job, let’s get started.
1. The mindset - Opportunity arises from rejection.
When we get rejected by an employer, our immediate natural response is to close the email and never look at it again. Rejection is painful, so our mind wants to flee from it as far as possible. Asking for feedback will only get us rejected again, so why bother? If we leave it like that, we are totally defeated on the battlefield. However, suppose we can set aside our pain and not let the rejection overwhelm us. In that case, the moment of rejection presents the best opportunity to ask for feedback.
Think from an interviewer’s perspective. As painful as getting a rejection, giving a rejection is unpleasant. Who doesn’t want to deliver happiness? A milkman job is better than a recruiter. When a person writes a rejection letter, he feels indebted to you. That’s the window of opportunity for you to ask for feedback with a high likelihood of getting a response.
Remember, an opportunity arises from rejection. So next time you get rejected by a job, don’t run. Instead, engage by asking for feedback.
2. The intention - To show appreciation and build relationships.
Once you have the right mindset to engage with the job rejection, you need to have the right intention when you ask for feedback. The goal should not be to change the interviewer’s mind. It should not be that they owe you the feedback. In fact, many company policies discourage the disclosure of any interview details. Any input from the interviewer is them going the extra mile to help you.
The right intention is to show your genuine appreciation for their time and seek their advice to improve. Treat the interviewers as fellow human beings who want to be valued, respected, and helpful. You can even tell them that giving you feedback is doing you a huge favor. By acknowledging the favor, you are making the whole process personal. A personal touch almost always increases your chance of getting honest and valuable feedback.
3. The structure - Tips to write a feedback email
With the right mindset and intention, it’s time to learn how to write a feedback email. Here’s a general structure that I would recommend using,
Show gratitude: Always start by thanking their time and even sending you the rejection letter. You often don’t even hear back from the positions you apply for.
Highlight your learning from the interview: Demonstrate the interview was insightful even if you didn’t get the job. People want to be helpful. So make your interviewers feel that way.
Ask specific and intelligent questions to get feedback. A general question such as “Could you please give me some feedback on the interview” is hard to answer. It burdens the interviewer to do the work: look at the notes and find insightful feedback to share. You are unnecessarily raising the difficulty for them to give you feedback. Make it easy by asking for feedback on specific things. For example: Instead of a general question, you can consider saying, “In the interview, you asked me how I would prioritize projects given constrained resources. I mentioned impact and effort. Could you please give me feedback on other things I could’ve considered?”
Close by asking for additional general feedback. If the interviewer is already thinking about giving you specific feedback, they might have other things to offer. At that point, they are cognitively invested. However, people don’t like giving unasked feedback or suggestion. By asking for general feedback at the very end, you are allowing them to provide you with more feedback.
4. Regular follow-ups - Build and maintain the relationship even after rejection.
If you really want to work for the company, you must build and maintain the relationship after the rejection. Asking for feedback after rejection is the first step in building that relationship. Put a reminder on your calendar to check in with interviewers every two weeks. Update them on your latest progress with your job search. Share your thoughts on an article about the industry or the company. You want to make the follow-up as personal as possible. Those regular follow-ups will make you stand out from the other candidates. They demonstrate your gratitude, maturity, and passion. If at that time, the hiring team is still looking to fill the position, they might give you a second thought.
Summary - the Dos and Don’ts when asking for feedback after a job rejection
Do
Have the mindset that rejection also presents an opportunity
Intend to build relationships and seek to improve when asking for feedback
Be very specific when asking for feedback
Follow up regularly if you really want the job
Be grateful throughout the process and know when to let go
Don’t
Feel entitled that the hiring team has to give you feedback
Expect to change the outcome
Ask for general feedback
Burn the bridge
Lastly, rejections during the job-seeking process are part of the process. They don’t define you. Your reaction to rejection defines you. There are always opportunities, even during the most challenging economy. Don’t give up. Don’t wait for the right time. You are in charge of your destiny.